[When she answers, Qingxuan pauses like he doesn't know what to say now. It isn't exactly the kind of question he should just ask anyone, is it? But he doesn't know what to do and there's no one here who can help. No one who could really understand.
His brow furrows and he clasps his hands together, twisting them around each other in a nervous habit that's less manic than it would be if he didn't have alcohol in his system.]
I need help making a decision. I need...I need to hear from someone else. It's about the mission. [He pauses then to glance at her, checking if she's still willing to hear him out or if maybe this is all too much. It's a lot to put on someone else, isn't it? He sighs.]
（ his nervous demeanour might have set her on edge in another life. now, she exhales faintly to temper the mounting irritation she knows too well to be a holdover from her father, and says: ）
We are teammates, aren't we?
（ it's not said with any especial gentleness. she is still learning to blunt that knife. ）
The point is to achieve our goals. So, yes. I will help you. What is the decision you must make?
[It's easier that she's so direct. It makes it easier to steel himself.]
It's a little bit complicated, so please bear with me. [He takes a notable deep breath and then seems to gather the courage to begin.]
Someone's life was ruined because of me. He lost...everything. His whole life, everyone he cared about, and even the future that should have been—that was supposed to be his.
I didn't know. [He says and his tone turns miserable for just a moment before he refocuses, shaking his head to get back on track.]
I'm here to fix it. I'm going to set things right. But...[His brow furrows and he shakes his head, obviously torn over something.]
I gained much from his losses. Wealth, happiness, and abilities. When I learned what had happened, I made a promise to myself to never use any of it again. And I haven't, not once. [Well, he had once, but He Xuan had been the one to give him his fan back then, hadn't he? And for a moment they'd been united again for a bigger purpose.]
But those abilities I gave up, [he clasps his hands together and twists them anxiously.] they'd make me better here. They'd help me be a better teammate. They'd help me to help everyone.[Shi Qingxuan's voice fades to a soft whisper and he looks down, reaching up with his good arm to wipe an errant tear from his eyes.]
I don't know what to do. If it's to help fix things, then maybe I should use them, but I don't deserve those powers. I didn't earn them.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-10-10 06:34 am (UTC)His brow furrows and he clasps his hands together, twisting them around each other in a nervous habit that's less manic than it would be if he didn't have alcohol in his system.]
I need help making a decision. I need...I need to hear from someone else. It's about the mission. [He pauses then to glance at her, checking if she's still willing to hear him out or if maybe this is all too much. It's a lot to put on someone else, isn't it? He sighs.]
Will you please help me?
no subject
Date: 2023-10-25 02:24 pm (UTC)We are teammates, aren't we?
（ it's not said with any especial gentleness. she is still learning to blunt that knife. ）
The point is to achieve our goals. So, yes. I will help you. What is the decision you must make?
no subject
Date: 2023-10-27 03:00 am (UTC)It's a little bit complicated, so please bear with me. [He takes a notable deep breath and then seems to gather the courage to begin.]
Someone's life was ruined because of me. He lost...everything. His whole life, everyone he cared about, and even the future that should have been—that was supposed to be his.
I didn't know. [He says and his tone turns miserable for just a moment before he refocuses, shaking his head to get back on track.]
I'm here to fix it. I'm going to set things right. But...[His brow furrows and he shakes his head, obviously torn over something.]
I gained much from his losses. Wealth, happiness, and abilities. When I learned what had happened, I made a promise to myself to never use any of it again. And I haven't, not once. [Well, he had once, but He Xuan had been the one to give him his fan back then, hadn't he? And for a moment they'd been united again for a bigger purpose.]
But those abilities I gave up, [he clasps his hands together and twists them anxiously.] they'd make me better here. They'd help me be a better teammate. They'd help me to help everyone.[Shi Qingxuan's voice fades to a soft whisper and he looks down, reaching up with his good arm to wipe an errant tear from his eyes.]
I don't know what to do. If it's to help fix things, then maybe I should use them, but I don't deserve those powers. I didn't earn them.