[It's easier that she's so direct. It makes it easier to steel himself.]
It's a little bit complicated, so please bear with me. [He takes a notable deep breath and then seems to gather the courage to begin.]
Someone's life was ruined because of me. He lost...everything. His whole life, everyone he cared about, and even the future that should have been—that was supposed to be his.
I didn't know. [He says and his tone turns miserable for just a moment before he refocuses, shaking his head to get back on track.]
I'm here to fix it. I'm going to set things right. But...[His brow furrows and he shakes his head, obviously torn over something.]
I gained much from his losses. Wealth, happiness, and abilities. When I learned what had happened, I made a promise to myself to never use any of it again. And I haven't, not once. [Well, he had once, but He Xuan had been the one to give him his fan back then, hadn't he? And for a moment they'd been united again for a bigger purpose.]
But those abilities I gave up, [he clasps his hands together and twists them anxiously.] they'd make me better here. They'd help me be a better teammate. They'd help me to help everyone.[Shi Qingxuan's voice fades to a soft whisper and he looks down, reaching up with his good arm to wipe an errant tear from his eyes.]
I don't know what to do. If it's to help fix things, then maybe I should use them, but I don't deserve those powers. I didn't earn them.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-10-27 03:00 am (UTC)It's a little bit complicated, so please bear with me. [He takes a notable deep breath and then seems to gather the courage to begin.]
Someone's life was ruined because of me. He lost...everything. His whole life, everyone he cared about, and even the future that should have been—that was supposed to be his.
I didn't know. [He says and his tone turns miserable for just a moment before he refocuses, shaking his head to get back on track.]
I'm here to fix it. I'm going to set things right. But...[His brow furrows and he shakes his head, obviously torn over something.]
I gained much from his losses. Wealth, happiness, and abilities. When I learned what had happened, I made a promise to myself to never use any of it again. And I haven't, not once. [Well, he had once, but He Xuan had been the one to give him his fan back then, hadn't he? And for a moment they'd been united again for a bigger purpose.]
But those abilities I gave up, [he clasps his hands together and twists them anxiously.] they'd make me better here. They'd help me be a better teammate. They'd help me to help everyone.[Shi Qingxuan's voice fades to a soft whisper and he looks down, reaching up with his good arm to wipe an errant tear from his eyes.]
I don't know what to do. If it's to help fix things, then maybe I should use them, but I don't deserve those powers. I didn't earn them.